A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Yo mama's so fat that when she steeped on the scale, it read a rather large number as compared to the average, healthy weight of the human race. Of course, she could become thin by working out or eating less, but she chooses not to because of the laziness that has now corrupted her completely.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

I died shortly after writing this.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the redneck ask his daughter to get on her knees? His shoe was untied.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's the difference between Rebecca black and your mom? Capitalize Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what would you like to drink?". The horse, unable to comprehend english, just nods and proceeds to shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +45

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops