How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

What did the fat gypsy say to the attractive young woman aged twenty-five? I know you are probably not remotely interested in having sex with me, but I'm afraid that you have no choice due to the fact that I've locked all of the doors.

have you tasted chocolate flavoured slurpee? no. i haven't either

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

69

so a horse walks into a bar right, and he goes up to the bartender, and the bartender being a smartass says why the long face(get because hes a horse), and the horse says his wife is dying of lung cancer, child services are taking his kids away , and im addicted to crack and that is why i have a long face the bartender then gives him the next round for free and the the horse dies of alchohol poisoning

What's black and white and black and white and black and white? A chessboard.

What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

Donald Trump

why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

my name is Jacob sartorious

Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...