What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

How do you fit 100 babies in a bucket? put them in a blender. How do you get them out? potato chips.

What did the cat say to another ? meow

What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

What is Justin Bieber + One less lonely girl. A BABY

Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

Q: What's sad about seeing a dead twenty year old lying at the corner of a street with a beer bottle in his hand? A: He owed me twenty bucks.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

How do you kill a baby quickly? The better question is why kill a baby quickly?

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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