Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Why did Charlie Sheen laugh at the TV? Because there happened to be a comedy on.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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