In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

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Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

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what's worse than getting an unwarranted parking ticket? Serving a life sentence for killing the meter man.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's me Ok, come in (the knockers voice was familiar enough that giving a name would have been out of place)

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what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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This is my firstever post so I wanted to make it very specialand have it really mean something, then I though fark that for a joke

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Why did the Asian man have a small penis? Because he was flaccid.

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I've got a joke for you. The people writing these jokes. Thats a joke.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rihno? Rihno-elephant

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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