Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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9/11

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Get me a sandwich, bitch

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What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Why does Brianne cry? Because she has no family.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because that it where his friend Bob lives.

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Ever heard of a funny black guy? Me either

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Why did the boy eat his bagel? He was hungry.

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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who is still together after all the crap they have been through? your butt cheeks

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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What's gold and looks like a brick? A gold brick. What's gold and looks like a nugget? A gold nugget. Whats gold and like a car? Gold. I lied about the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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