Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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Why did the doctor have no peins? She was a woman.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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a man died

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

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Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A blue plastic bag in the wind.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

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what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

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Why did the girl throw butter out the window? She was suffering from an epileptic seizure.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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