what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Yeah Aodhans been typing up everything strting argument along with taggart

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

roses are red, violets are blue my name is hitler, good bye jew

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

9/11

Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Why did the goblin have no friends? because no one likes a goblin, including other goblins.

"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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