Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Jake: "Guys Apple's new phone is going to be curved." Bob: "Who makes curved phones?" Jake: "Apple."

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -138

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's the difference between a monkey wrench and a snow cone? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did susy give up in the corner? Cause she couldnt fight off the black man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why Did The Girl Cry? Old People Are Funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a clown sad? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Knock Knock Who's There? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +2

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops