So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Q.Want to hear somthing that will never happen A. Sure A. the Houston Astros won a game.

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What is round and will hurt you if you step on it? The sun

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Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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