My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

Why did the boy eat the potato? I don't know. Neather do I. :(

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm color blind.

Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

Justin Littleton's mom accidentally texting him about buying weed, and then offering to buy him ice cream to make up for it.

what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

What can be worst than letting someone you dont know run a chainsaw? Letting Smokey Dokey run a chainsaw!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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