A sheep walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what is small and is not fair Mitt Romneys tax rate

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb. One, of course. Assuming he/she does not have any physical or mental handicaps.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops