What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

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What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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