What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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Teacher: Billy what do you want to be when you grow up? Billy: A fireman! Teacher: Tommy what do you want to be when you grow up? Tommy: 9/11

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

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School

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toast points

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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