What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Jews

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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69

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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25

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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Hi? No!!!!!

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops