What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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ONE DAY THE SKY OPENS AND SUDDENLY Gad: Jews, you are my chosen people! Jews: YAY! GODS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA BATHE IN RICHES AND YOU WILL COMMAND US TO RAID AND RAPE LANDS! FOR OURSELVES! AND EVERYTHING! Gad: Eh... Well, actually I was thinking more like... Jews: YAY WE ARE GONNA CONQUER THE WORLD! GAD IS WITH US NAO! Right Gay? I mean Gad... Cough... Gad: Err, well *cough* suuure, I mean... Jews: YAY! WE ARE GADS CHOSEN! WE ARE GONNA GET MIGHTY! Moral: "You do not want to be "Gods chosen" people!" Btw, you telling me Jewsus was not a Jew? Hmm?

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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So a seal walks into a club..

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What is White over Black? Society.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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