You're Adopted.

Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

Hey i just met you and this is crazy Get in the van

Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

.ellipsis { text-overflow: ellipsis; /* Required for text-overflow to do anything */ white-space: nowrap; overflow: hidden; }

Why did the man get a haircut? Because he had long hair.

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

whats Mario's favorite kind of jeans? Denim, denim, denim.

fruit salad?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

im black

What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

What do you call the black president? Mr.President

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...