What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Justin Bieber is a good singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the little girl fall out of the tree? She didnt have any arms

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is Billy in a ditch? He stepped on a landmine and was promptly burst into many pieces. The ditch was coincidental.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what happened to the boy that walked down the street he got hit by a falling street light

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops