Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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How do you kill a retard You give em a kinfe and ask who's special

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Women's rights

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A fat man fell on him

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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A Jew! Bless you.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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What do you call a black man at the head of the U.S.? A mistake.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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what do you call a homeless man? poor.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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There once was a man from Kentucky...then he raped everyone in sight... THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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