What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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Roses are white Violets are black I'm colorblind That is sad

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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Women.

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Why did Janie miss school today? Because she fell in a well.

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Knock knock Who's there? Not you

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What's Black white and red all over? Half a penguin

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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Justin Bieber's Never Say Never 3D came out the other day. I went to see it, and it was a pretty good movie.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Women.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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