A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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The BCS

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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Whats big, hard, and in my pants? A tumor.

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i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

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Why did the prostitute survive the gunshot? She was wearing a bulletproff vest.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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What's the shittiest thing ever ? Poop.

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The cow went moo

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, you racist.

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A blind man walks into a pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops