Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

A boy has a penis, a girl has a vagina.

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

Woman's rights.

Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

What time is the dentist appointment? Time for you to get a watch

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Chickens like to wander around.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

Two cannibals were eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?!" ...Two days later, both of the cannibals became very ill with food poisoning. Always ensure meat is cooked thoroughly before eating.

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

Breast cancer.

How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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