What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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what did tyrone want for Christmas? A dad.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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Police Report: A 100 year old man was beaten to death on his centennial birthday. Sources claim to say he was "getting his birthday punches"

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Q: What's better than the Call Me Maybe video? A: A shot-for-shot parody of it featuring a GIMP! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFxnAITCv5o

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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all these jokes suck ass

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops