Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

What's long, black, and sticky? Licorice.

Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

A handicapp walks into a bar

Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

you know whats funny the letter Q

What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

Your MUM has aids :D LOL

we all know sammi has a penis

What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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