Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

What's the difference between a dead baby and a man? One's tall the other's not

A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I am color blind.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

where do you find sunglasses at? the store

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

what do you get when you cross do you get when you cross a banana and a monkey? one happy monkey

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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