Why does the Muslim go to Hollywood? Because he is gifted in acting. He believes Hollywood will give him a wider range of career opportunities.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Diseases show if a prerson lacks vitamins and minerals.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Your mom is so cheap, that she eats her cereal with a fork to save milk

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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