What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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Your Mom.

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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Some people like melon and others like soup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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