Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock ... guess nobody's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man was driving five penguins across the Croatian-Serbian border. He was a penguin smuggler.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A guy has cancer. He dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

School

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops