Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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i like tits

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Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Rachel not blowing Robert.

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

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A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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