Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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Why was the asian boy made fun of in the locker room? Because of the nipple piercing he had.

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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yo mama is so fat even dora cant explore her

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Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What's the difference between Vagisil and Black People? They are disgusting!

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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ok, a family walks into a talant agency, the talent agent says "What can you do". The family breaks out into a sing and dance routine, and do nothing sexual in their routine.

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How do you you know when you haven't slept in a while? You're tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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