Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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Q: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A: 14

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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24

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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