Twenty-Four

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What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What is the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench is an inanimate object whereas a black man is a human being with rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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How do you get a dog to obey your rules?¿¿? Threaten to beat it with a rod!¡!

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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Who likes to be fisted? Sock puppets.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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A seal walks into a club.

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why does one side of a v-flock of geese have more birds? Because it does.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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There was a screwdriver and a spoon. What did the screwdriver say to the spoon? Nothing because neither of them are living objects and it is impossible for inanimate objects to talk.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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On a scale of 1 to drunk how ten are you?

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Q: Why did the Mexican jump over the fence? A: He went to go retrieve the ball that was kicked in his neighbor's yard. Afterwords, he continued playing soccer with his friends.

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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