Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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So Jimmy's phsycology teacher is trying to think of beginnig lessons for her phsycology class. so she gets up and says "class, i want u anyone who thinks they are stupid to stand up." nobody stood up. then Jimmy stands up. The teacher says "Jimmy, u think u are stupid?" Jimmy replies "No, i just felt bad with u standing up all alone."

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Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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Oh no! My life is ruined!

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Jersey Shore

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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