Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

Q: Why didn't the boy go to school? A: It was the weekend.

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

A handicapp walks into a bar

What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

why couldn't the the black man get a job? because he doesn't posses the correct work ethic.

Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

A boy has enough money to buy an xbox and a game, but when he reaches the store he is no longer able to buy an xbox and a game, how is this possible? He didnt really have enough money to buy an xbox and a game.

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

- What is worse than a baby in a trash bin ? - A baby in five trash bins.

What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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