What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

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what do you do to gay guy who wants to have anal sex with you? beat him with a steel baseball bat in his face.

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Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, and then come back halfway? A: He was racing his friend to the other side. He didn't realize his friend got hit by a truck until he looked back. He continually cried until finally he got it together and walked over to his dead friend. He wasn't paying attention though, and another truck hit him. The truck driver continued his road trip and bought KFC for dinner.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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knock knock who's there aids

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops