How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

thumb_up thumb_down

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down

What black and white and red all over? A panther I was lying about the red and white.

thumb_up thumb_down

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

thumb_up thumb_down

Samantha

thumb_up thumb_down

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

thumb_up thumb_down

please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

thumb_up thumb_down

a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the 10 year old luekemia patient get for christmas? Dead parents

thumb_up thumb_down

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

thumb_up thumb_down

Where did Susie go after the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down

What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A rabbit's fart.

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you kill a blonde? shoot her in the face with a pistol

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person who lives inside is depth.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops