A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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I need a good anti joke....

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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There is a black guy, British guy, and a Spanish guy in a room. Wait that'll never happen, black people hate Spanish people.

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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Why would you ever buy an antijoke book? BECAUSE ANTIJOKES ARE F***ING AWESOME!!!

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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What did the collage professor say to the plumber? Hi.

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Badgers are cool

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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um...... What's worse than 15 babies stapled to trees? sixteen babies staples to trees PS: I will stop posting if 3 people don't like this by tommarow.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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