- Anti Joke

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

Kathy Griffin.

Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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