- Anti Joke

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda pop" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

A man walk into a bar. He then falls down, quickly picks himself up, and continues his life.

Robin, get in the batmobile.

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

I had sex. Just kidding.

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...