whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ImBrewn

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Girls Basketball.

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whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Why didn't peyton manning's grand mom call him after his game? She died of throat cancer 5 years ago

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

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Yo momma's so fat, her lifespan is probably going to be very short and you will have to bury her soon.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Write Your Own ___________________________________________ It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ____________________________________________ I have read and agree to the Terms of Service- VIEW TERMS OF SERVICE

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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