What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

thumb_up thumb_down -3

woman's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A chickens walks into a bar... And greets her fellow friends

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -3

E= McVagina

thumb_up thumb_down -3

James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did batman say to robin before he got in the batmobile get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

thumb_up thumb_down -5

John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead John then proceeds to violently masturbate. Sam at first feels uncomfortable, then shits all over John and joins in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops