- Anti Joke

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda pop" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

Q: What is 2 + 2? A: Beastiality

What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

I had sex. Just kidding.

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

Womens' Rights

What is Worse than the holocaust?

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!