I AM DEAD, FUCKING, SERIOUS! NOW GET OVER HERE MOMMY I WANT TO... ...Thats pretty disgusting, I was born a man, maybe an infant man, but a man regardless. So how about you stop showcasing me to people here and we just take off? I mean I am dead tired and sleepy, I would say good night, but its day here now so yeah.

A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

Why was the kid happy? Because it was his birthday.

Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

There's a bunch of people standing around a retard...why is no one laughing? Its his funeral

Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

Jews

what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why did the chicken kross the road? It didn't because it was a highway and it got hit by a bus.

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs. It doesn't matter what you call him he still won't come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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