What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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Two guys are walking down the street. One asks the other "Nice weather today, huh?" And the other responds "It sure is," and they both continue on with their days.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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trumpy trumpy trump

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Why did Sam have no friends? Because he was dead.

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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What do you get when you mix Catholicism and Islam? War

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

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Your time.

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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