- Anti Joke

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

square circles have souls but gingers do not CC

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

I had sex. Just kidding.

why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

The original joke: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT HOLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The anti joke, aka realistic edition: "WATCH OUT FOR THAT HOLE!" "WHAT YAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHH!" The ballon edition: Original: "Balloon! Watch out for that Cactus!" "What Cactussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss..." (leaking air you slowmo) The anti-joke aka realistic version: "Balloon watch out for that pointy soda!" "What soda pop" Moral: None of these where the least realistic!

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call a really old Cowboy? A senior citizen with a brain tumor.

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

How do you drown a down syndrome child? Put him/her into water.

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

Womens' Rights

What is Worse than the holocaust?

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

Is that a threat or a promise? dragonflies

How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!