There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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whats 2+2? math.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

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Yes!

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What do you call to guys who gave gave each other HIV? Blood-Brothers

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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