What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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mark is mark

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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What's black and red all over? Half a cat

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

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What does a person and a tree have in common? You can knock them down if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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What's the difference between a murcielago and a dead baby ? I don't have a dead baby in my garage. 8-)

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops