A baby seal walks into a club

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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What happened to the starving african kid? He died

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Knock Knock Who's there? its the police mam your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

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Why did the kid tell yo mama jokes to insult other kids? His mom had just committed suicide due to depression caused by the kid's bad habits.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

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What's worse than losing the remote Finding it in your ass hole

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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