there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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Did you hear about the cow that could fly? Me either

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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penus

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Why do those Indian people have that dot on their forehead ? Idk but it makes a good target.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did the women knock on the door? she needed to do a shit

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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