Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats hard, its not what you think a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Blonde: I'm sad. Brunette: Why? Blonde: I walked into a bar just to see my boyfriend having a drink with another woman, Brunette: I'm so sorry,

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do yo call two dog? dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops