When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

thumb_up thumb_down +45

An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened when the homosexual man came out of the closet? He was congratulated for winning the hide and seek contest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Gay Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

thumb_up thumb_down +39

There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops