Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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Roses are red Bacon is too Rhyming is hard bacon

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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Twenty-Four

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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knock, knock! who`s there? it`s me ! who me? yes!

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops