"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

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What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Land Rovers

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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The only time your mother was ever considered "hot" was at her cremation.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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What's blue and pillowy? A blue pillow

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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My mom gave me a quarter. I tryed to spend it on bubblegum but 7-11 said no...

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Where did Sally go during the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, orange!

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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