what do you call a deer with no eyes? a deer...

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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Your mama is so fat... Haha, that's a good joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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What do you get when you mix a deer and a pickle? A very odd dinner.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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GONNA

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops